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Guide to Dublin Scangers
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Things Culchies love ...
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a collection of anecdotal short stories












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© gerry coughlan 1997 - 2012

Everyday English and Slang in Ireland

Things culchies love


01 : A nice bit of ham.
02 : Buttered biscuits.
03 : Diggin' Houles.
04 : Saying it's too cold to snow
05 : Pretending to know about The Ra.
06 : Tayto Cheese & Onion
07 : Pretending they're in The Ra.
08 : A stretch in the evenings
09 : Lucozade
10 : Accordians
11 : Pretending to like Holy Week.
12 : A dinner dance
13 : Gettin clattered in muck.
14 : Shania Twain.
15 : Heifers
16 : Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual.
17 : Steel toe caps.
18 : A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.
19 : Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA
20 : Saying someone's 'Opened a Book' on something.
21 : The smell of fresh dung.
22 : Slice-Your-Own Loaf.
23 : Work Clothes.
24 : A bottle of mineral.
25 : Fightin'.
26 : Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered.
27 : 'The' Hurling/Fitball.
28 : Being overweight.
29 : Weemin wha resemble Heifers.
30 : Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.
31 : Drink driving.
32 : Red diesel.
33 : The Fear of Change.
34 : A nice bit of barn brack.
35 : Lying.
36 : Building walls.
37 : Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food.
38 : Pretending to like mass.
39 : Talking about shite like Flax and the Corncrake.
40 : A good blackthorn walkin stick.
41 : Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens.
42 : Muhammad Ali.
43 : Machinery.
44 : Strange uppy-downy walks.
45 : A good f**kin read of Ireland's Own.
46 : Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
47 : Scandal, as long as it's about other people.
48 : Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for weemin.
49 : Soda farls.
50 : Sponge 'n Custirt.
51 : Newmerica', and anything to do with it.
52 : Givin the dog the wildest baytins.
53 : Givin the wife the wildest baytins.
54 : The Ra.
55 : Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.
56 : Wrecking the house whilst steaming.
57 : Club Orange.
58 : Rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner.
59 : The Foot & Mouth.
60 : Aetin' a big feed of spuds.
61 : TK Red Lemonade.

And just to prove the non-partisan nature of this website, here's


01 Aslan
02 Heroin (See 1)
03 Stealin'
04 Joy-ridin'
05 Saying 'Yaknowwhorrameyan?"
06 Shamrock Rovers
07 Social welfare
08 Keyin' Cars
09 Pop Idol
10 Wearing belly tops over their pale, flabby stomachs
11 Calling people 'Bud' who are not their bud
12 Compo
13 Calling people 'Pal' who are not their pal
14 Shortening words and adding the letter 'o' (Anto, Decco, Corpo)
15 Calling people 'Boss' who are not their boss
16 John Player Blue
17 Burberry
18 Burglary
19 Fair City
20 Celtic shirts
21 'Taches
22 Fireworks every night for the entire month preceeding Halloween
23 Sky Digital
24 Saying "I didn't bleedin' do tha'!"
25 Travelling in packs
26 Moochin'
27 Swearing at their babies
28 Getting their mot's preggers
29 Champion Sports
30 Christmas Lights you could see from space
31 Skippin' school
32 Skippin' bail
33 Giving their kids Monster Munch and Maltesers for breakfast on the bus
34 Standing in queues outside the dole office
35 Funtasia
36 Iceland - the food chain, not the country
37 Man U
38 Saying, "That's not my bleedin' job!"
39 Pushing prams while smoking
40 Earrings (for guys)
41 Earrings a chimpanzee could swing off (for girls)
42 Saying "He didn't do nothin'!" when he clearly did do something
43 Baseball caps
44 Sawn-off Shotguns
45 Adrian Kennedy Phone Show
46 Picking up unfinished cigarettes dropped on the street by someone else just after coming out of a medical centre (as God is my witness)
47 Shop-liftin'
48 Tamangos
49 Not payin' the bus fare
50 Curry Chips and a burger
51 Leaving their kids play outside on a busy road while they get hammered on a Sunday afternoon
52 Always following the word 'rich' with the word 'wanker'
53 Pulling their hoodies over their heads as they're led away from the Four Courts
54 Eschewing peaceful solutions to conflict when Violent Senseless Mayhem will suffice
55 Pissing in Elevators
56 Being an authority on everything
57 Knee-cappings
58 Racism
59 Smiley Bolger
60 Getting their hair cut so tight they look like a matchstick with ears from the back
61 Not readin' bukes

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